Hello beautiful friends and souls♡
This has got to be the most vulnerable, yet the most liberating video/post that I have ever made since the beginning of my YouTube journey.
A few days ago, as I sat down in my chair at my desk, finally with the realisation that this is a part of me that I need to openly share with you, I began to shake.
I was shaking because at that very moment in time, I let my inner critic temporarily take centre stage. I thought, “Will I be sharing too much?”. “Is this too personal?”
But as someone who so deeply promotes authenticity, love, self-care, positivity…I knew in my heart that it was time to share my story. My intuition was calling out to me that it had to be now, in order for me to fully let go of my past, and to move on freely without the baggage I knew I had been carrying.
So ultimately, I chose love over fear. I knew that if I shared my story, even if it received judgement, it may possibly reach out to another beautiful soul who needs to hear this message and follow the path of recovery too. If I can provide hope and be an example of recovery to one person, then everything will be worth it. Any judgements are not a reflection of me. Because I truly, greatly, passionately believe that every single soul on this planet is beautiful in their own way. If I can completely change my mindset and mentally recover (my physical body is still on the mend), then so can anyone else. More importantly than opening up about my challenge, I want to share with you my enlightenment and spiritual awakening story too- my insights and knowledge that I have learned along the way- that has allowed me to flow into the path of recovery for good, and shaped the person bursting with passion for wellness, positivity and self-love today.
Upon finally filming this video, which happened to be on the day of the Full Moon (a time of letting go of the past and releasing limiting beliefs), I had never felt so light in my life. I felt like I could move on with ease, and creativity started to flow. I actually sat down and filmed for well over an hour, but I decided to cut down to just the main parts of this story, because for me sharing my insights is much more important. There is a lot more to what I have told in the video, but again, I am simply ready to let that go. I have experienced it, learned from it, and it is now a beautiful part of my teenage years that I am not ashamed of at all. Though my journey was a rollercoaster, I am so grateful that I had this experience, because it has taught me so incredibly much. I just wouldn’t be who I am today, transformed for the better. This challenge from the universe has lead me to my current path, to following my life purpose, because everything happens for a reason- for our ultimate and highest good.
I truly do not take eating disorders and body dysmorphia (or any other mental challenge) light heartedly. It is a serious mental block that even I, during my lowest point, thought that there was no way out, despised my body in every single aspect, and almost ended up in hospital. I am simply just so incredibly grateful that I chose recovery, and I am grateful for all of the resources that helped along the way, which has allowed me to find spiritual enlightenment and healed my relationship with my body and food forever.
If you are also experiencing an eating order or body dysmorphia, I want you to know that you are not alone. I also want you to know that you are not labelled or defined by this challenge, that there is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is okay to be vulnerable. That you CAN choose recovery…for yourself, for loved ones, and for the world. You are more than worthy and deserving of all health, happiness and love. You are SO beautiful. And you need to first and fore mostly feel deeply worthy in order to call in recovery, and give and receive love.
If I could change one thing about my experience, it would be to open up and speak about it to someone. I never did, and I think had I done so, my eating disorder wouldn’t have reached such a low point. Human connection is so important, and you just don’t know how much help someone can be of to you. Here are some links that can serve you:
Lastly, here are the best resources I found that really helped with my journey to recovery:
- ‘Mastering Your Mean Girl’ by Melissa Ambrosini
- ‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle
- Everyday Mindfulness
Blogs and People
Thank you so much for being a part of my journey. I am so grateful for your continuous love and support that I don’t and won’t ever take for granted. ♡
Sending my love,