Recently, I woke up one morning feeling really inspired to write about my story in the lead up to meeting my boyfriend. I posted it inside a Girls Travel Facebook group, and it went viral, receiving so much positive feedback that warmed my heart. I didn’t realise my story could inspire so many women, so I thought I’d share it on my blog as well, in the hopes that this story can be an expander for your self-love journey too. I’ve reworded it slightly from my original post and added some more details. ♡
Two years ago, I decided that I wanted to call in my soulmate, and was ready for a conscious relationship. I took a piece of paper and wrote down a long list of all of his qualities, values, characteristics, and even drew a picture of him. Then I made sure I embodied those values and qualities myself. I wrote that he is kind and compassionate, so I practised kindness and compassion. I wrote that he values health and family, so I practised living a healthy lifestyle and and loving my family more. I also wrote that he has blue eyes and a muscular body, but that was more of a preference, not something I attached to. I didn’t know when or how we would meet, but one thing I also wrote was that he loves travelling, so I continued to do that myself.
In March last year, I decided to pack all of my essentials into a suitcase and backpack, and left Melbourne to solo travel around Asia without any end date. Aside from wanting to have more life experience and challenge my comfort zone to grow, I also wanted to “find myself” more and heal. Heal from childhood conditioning, low confidence, and my body from past eating disorders. I also realised at this time that I carried the belief that “I am not loveable and worthy of being loved”, so thought that an adventure could help overcome more of my limiting beliefs. Over 4.5 months, this trip that led me to Bali, Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Phuket, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Gili islands, Lombok, and all over Vietnam, changed me in so many ways. Through life experiences that solo travelling gave me, I discovered even more subconscious beliefs that created certain patterns in my life around relationships.
I came back to Melbourne after 4.5 months of solo travelling because along the way, I developed depression. I was alone most of the time (except for the tour I did in Vietnam with Contiki), staying in private airbnbs and afraid to go out and socialise which led to loneliness. By this point, I had discovered that another limiting belief I carried was that “I have to do everything alone” and “I don’t deserve to be supported” and finally realised the importance of healthy relationships for our wellbeing. I felt ashamed of myself. But I knew in my heart this is all part of my journey of growth, and something amazing will come out of this depression. I trusted that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and this is exactly what my self-love journey needed.
I stayed in Melbourne for the 2 following months to heal, where I went through therapy and focused on as much self-care as I could. I forgived myself, the past, and continued to change my limiting beliefs into supportive beliefs. And then one morning in September, I woke up feeling “normal” and excited again. I actually felt like getting out of bed and a burst of motivation flow through every vein in my body. If you’ve been through depression, you’ll know how much this means. That day my intuition said “book a flight to Sri Lanka”, and even though I hadn’t ever heard much about this country or know why my intuition had this idea, I listened to my gut feeling and two weeks later, I was back to travelling again. My depression had healed and I was returning back to “Jasmine” again.
Before flying into Sri Lanka, my intuition said why not have a stop over in Phuket, Thailand. And I did things differently this time. Instead of staying in Airbnb’s alone, I tried hostels. Instead of being shy, I gathered the courage to say hi to someone first. I really challenged my comfort zone more, and discovered that it gives you a pivot of growth and reward. I made a wonderful friend on the first day in Phuket in my hostel, and she was like an angel that came into my life. We still keep in contact to this day, and I believe God sent her to me as a gift for being brave enough to heal. During my time in Thailand too, I met a guy and I knew it was a test from the universe. I was being tested to know my worth and really get clear on how I want to be treated in a relationship. After a month of keeping in contact via text, my intuition said “move on, you deserve better”, and so I did.
When my intuition guided me back to Bali in November, solo again, something quite amazing happened. In the spiritual area of Ubud one day, an older man came up to me while I was sitting in a cafe and offered me to join him at his table. For some reason I felt like there was something I would learn from him and he has good intentions, so I went. It turns out that he specialises in healing, particularly inner child healing, which is exactly what I was going deeper into. This kind of healing helped me to let go of the belief that “I am not loveable” and instead be at a place of “I am whole, worthy, compete and loveable”. He said “when people come to me, magic happens”, then asked me “if there is something that could make your trip in Ubud a dream trip, what would it be?”. In my heart the first thing that came up was “sharing this with my soulmate”, but I answered “nothing, this is already a dream trip”. As a healer, he saw right through me, then said “Wouldn’t you, as a young woman, want to share travelling with someone special? It’s normal to want this. If you want something, be confident and just declare it. You can have anything you desire”. So that evening, I told the universe with more confidence than ever “I am ready for a conscious relationship”, and truly allowed it to happen. Earlier this day I had actually gotten my second tattoo which says “worthy” on my arm, to remind myself that I am worthy of love.
One month later, after travelling around Bali, the Philippines, and back to Bali, I met my soulmate and recognised him as who I’d always been seeking. It happened exactly one month after I got that ‘worthy’ tattoo, and met the Healer. I met my soulmate in a way that I never expected, and when I least expected it too, but we now agree it was divine timing and God’s plan all along. We matched on Bumble, met at a cafe, and that’s how our story began. And I had only used Bumble in Bali as I knew I’d be coming back and calling this place home soon. I went back to Melbourne a week later, then returned to Bali in January this year, and now live here with my love.
My man is exactly the man I wrote down on those sheets of paper two years ago. He is kind and compassionate. He values health and family. He is conscious, sweet, loving, supportive and accepts me for who I am. He also loves travelling and creating content, and like me is a coach, and has also been through depression in the past. He has blue eyes, and a muscular body too. He is the man I told God about. He treats me like a queen and all I need to be is myself.
I know it’s been a long post, but what I want to say the most is:
- Travel teaches you so much, especially solo travel. Through life experiences, you discover so many beliefs you hold, and that allows you to change them if they no longer support the reality you want to create.
- Travel also makes you more confident, and a confident woman is sexy and attractive. I would have never arranged a date with a guy I matched with on bumble if I wasn’t confident.
- True love is real, and it comes when you let go and keep living your best life. You don’t ever need to chase love, it will come when you give out love and be your authentic self unapologetically. Don’t settle for less and know your worth.
- Listen to your intuition, even if it doesn’t always make sense. Every decision I made leading up to when we met was based on my gut feeling. I had already decided to move to Bali in November, before we met, so if I hadn’t listened to the voice encouraging me to move, I wouldn’t have used Bumble at the time that we met.
- Whoever you want to attract, become that person first. We attract what we put out into the universe.
- Don’t compare your timeline to anyone else’s. We are all on our own journey, and things happen for us when we are individually ready to receive it.
If you’re also looking for love, don’t give up and know that person is coming. I always believed that “who you seek, is seeking you”. When the travel world is back to normal again, keep travelling and do the things that light YOU up. Be open to receiving all that is good, stand in what you deserve, be brave to heal and go deeper and have an open mind too. You never know how your story will unfold.
Photos taken by Leandro.
His instagram: http://instagram.com/leandro_j_s